This is Winkie's first rap song. Hope you love it.
written by Wane Fawes
Wad up kids.
Just chillin in my crib , got nothing better to do
Thought I'd throw you a little something.
Here we go.
Hey I'm a Twinkie, just sittin in my chair.
Well I'm a bald snack food and I don't got any hair.
But I'm a rappin little fool with a what yawl know.
I got 1 2 3 dreamy creamy holes.
Put me to the test bitches thats what i said.
I slice the futher mucking mic up like a wonder bread.
Cause I'm a bad mo fo hope you got some lube.
So you can grease the replay button on youtube.
I'm freestylin, I don't write anything down.
I'm just relaxing in my cliner just a clowning around.
While you out in the club just mac'n the flo.
Cutting a lame jiggly jiggly trying to score you a ho.
Well I got a ho and she's a donut ya know.
Got a big round body and a donut hole.
And we always getting busy every chance that we get.
Her momma caught us one time and started pitching a fit.
She was hollering and screaming at the top of her lungs.
And then she saw this Twinkie was Atilla the hung.
And she tore her clothes off and threw em right on the floor.
And with a twinkle in her eye she cold locked the door.
Uh what cha doing there Misses Johnson?
You wanna get freaky Deaky baby?
Uh, what cha mean?
You know, three way.
Uh you mean like a ring toss?
I almost freaked out cause I didn't know what to do.
I already had a girlfriend now I'm working on two.
This fother mucking three way was beyond belief.
Until her momma yelled "heads up" and then she let out a queef.
It hit me like a Mac truck, knocked me straight off the bed.
I hit the floor real hard and freaking banged my head.
Well I just shook it off and I jumped back in the game.
I had to finish my ride on the donut train.
Like an all-star playing in the super dome.
Knocking out home-runs till her daddy came home.
I heard him coming well he must have smelt the sex in the air.
So I climbed out the window with the wrong underwear.
Now I'm creeping for my life through my girls backyard.
And this futher mucking thong is riding up my ass hard.
Trying to get to my car quite as a mouse.
And then I realized I'd left my car keys back at her house.
So now I'm walking home half naked on the side of the street.
People honking and laughing and yelling out freak!
So the fuzz puled me over while I'm rocking the thong.
He said I gotta take you in cause this is so damn wrong.
Uh so fellows, uh were we going?
Well we're thinking about taking you downtown and charging you with indecent exposer.
Or we're thinking about dipping you in some chocolate milk and eating you.
So the fuzz took me in cause they think I'm a nut.
Half naked and a thong all the way up my butt.
I'm laid up in a holding cell just like a punk.
And this thong isn't hiding very much of my junk.
So they asked if anyone was gonna post my bail.
Before my friends see me like this I'll be staying in jail.
And like I just now said well that whats I did.
And right about that time is when they brought in the kid.
Well he had the creamy holes I counted 1 2 3.
And the other thing was that he looked exactly like me.
And so I asked the kid "Hey what you doing in here?"
Said they got him with a fake I.D. trying to score some beer.
Well our time in the slammer wasn't all that long.
They can't hold you in the pokey just for rocking a thong.
They let the kid out too cause the cops were just messing.
All they really wanted was just to teach him a lesson.
So now we both finally getting out of here.
So to celebrate I got both a six-pack of beer.
Now were chillin drinking suds by the swimming pool.
And then his mom showed up, turns out I knew her from school.
Hey uh how you doing there mam? Uh he's drinking Kool-Aid
It's non alcoholic Kool-Aid
Oh, so do I know you from somewhere?
Yeah you look kinda familiar too.
She said her name was Donna I said whats up I'm Winkie.
She I remember you, your that dudes that a Twinkie.
We were in the same school, way back in the day.
Your that dude that everyone in school thought was gay.
I was shocked to find out what every bodied been thinking.
But way back in the day well I was always drinking.
Well she said she partied to and made a lot of mistakes.
Like back then she did drugs and a whole lotta cakes.
She was at a party one night drinking and feeling sad.
Had just broke up with her boyfriend it ended so bad.
Feeling down and all alone she went straight to the drinkie.
Thats how she ended up getting buck wild with a Twinkie.
Then she said it was dark, there wasn't much she could see.
But she remembered those creamy holes 123.
She got knocked up and ended up leaving the school.
She left town cause she thought everyone would think her a fool.
Well now I'm really getting nervous as you can figure.
I don't remember that party or pulling the trigger.
So like sherlock homes I was stitching up clues.
And right about now I'm really glad I'm hitting the booze.
Whew, what a day. Queef to the face, caught in a thong, taken to jail, find out I might have a kid. Whew, I gotta stop drinking so much.
So I said could he be mine and she said I guess.
Then I recommended that we get a DNA test.
So we packed up a sample of our creamy fillings.
Going to the lab my blood pressures reaching the ceiling.
So now were finally here at the DNA place.
Kinda weird that the technician sampled a taste.
Then he put the creamy filling under the microscope.
And said mam I think someone heres been smoking the dope.
If he says another word I'll pop a cap in his ass.
He sure as hell had better not say it was me smoking grass.
So he finished up the test and he said ok.
I'll have the results for you in just a couple of days.
The days seemed like weeks and then we got the call.
The whole time I was drinking and climbing the walls.
He told us that the father of the kid is a Twinkie.
But it turned out it was my retarded brother Dinkie.
Well, I hope this teaches you kids a very important lesson about having a girlfriend or getting buck wild with somebody……..turn on the lights!
Dinkie: I got some booty.
released February 6, 2013
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